Turned Down for FREE Wedding Photography!!??!??

JDrake · March 12, 2009

Several months ago my cousin who is starting a cake business booked a wedding for the daughter of her dad's girlfriend. She told this girl that I was a professional photographer. She basically inferred that she couldn't afford to pay even $700 for my services (which is a HUGE deal).... I made the decision to let her go... as she apparently had a "friend with a camera" who would do it for her.

Now I am in the business of helping my cousin out with her cake business so I told her I would go over to the wedding with her to set up the cake and take some shots of it for her to use in her portfolio. I got to thinking last night that hey... I'm gonna be over there anyways... I don't have anything better to do with me time... why not offer this girl my services for FREE.... so my cousin calls the girl and tells her I was willing to shoot her wedding for free (the wedding is this Sat. btw)... the girl responds basically... "I wish she would have told me sooner.... my friend is kinda a "work alone kind of girl" and that I was not wanted to take pictures for free..." not those exact words... but it kinda came across as a bit stuck up and unappreciative of my offer to this girl for me to take professional pictures for her which would normally cost her THOUSANDS.... I was just trying to be nice... and THAT is the responce I get?? Oh yea... apparently ... she is PAYing said friend with a camera aprox. $50 for the job. It's not like her friend wouldn't still be more than welcome to take whatever pictures she wanted either... I just just offering a favor. :scratch

SOOO... I am still going to be at this wedding for some short amount of time... anyone have any good responces for me if I should be told.... "Oh we were mistaken... you can take pictures if you would like..."

I have decided that since they slapped my friendly gesture away so readily... that I rescind my offer to work for free and no longer want to offer my help. If I should be approached at the wedding I have no idea what to say.....? I don't want to be rude... but I also do not want to "work" for these people who apparently have no appreciation for my work (and they have seen my work and know the quality I produce).

Art Scott · March 12, 2009

JDrake wrote:

Several months ago my cousin who is starting a cake business booked a wedding for the daughter of her dad's girlfriend. She told this girl that I was a professional photographer. She basically inferred that she couldn't afford to pay even $700 for my services (which is a HUGE deal).... I made the decision to let her go... as she apparently had a "friend with a camera" who would do it for her.

Now I am in the business of helping my cousin out with her cake business so I told her I would go over to the wedding with her to set up the cake and take some shots of it for her to use in her portfolio. I got to thinking last night that hey... I'm gonna be over there anyways... I don't have anything better to do with me time... why not offer this girl my services for FREE.... so my cousin calls the girl and tells her I was willing to shoot her wedding for free (the wedding is this Sat. btw)... the girl responds basically... "I wish she would have told me sooner.... my friend is kinda a "work alone kind of girl" and that I was not wanted to take pictures for free..." not those exact words... but it kinda came across as a bit stuck up and unappreciative of my offer to this girl for me to take professional pictures for her which would normally cost her THOUSANDS.... I was just trying to be nice... and THAT is the responce I get?? Oh yea... apparently ... she is PAYing said friend with a camera aprox. $50 for the job. It's not like her friend wouldn't still be more than welcome to take whatever pictures she wanted either... I just just offering a favor.

SOOO... I am still going to be at this wedding for some short amount of time... anyone have any good responces for me if I should be told.... "Oh we were mistaken... you can take pictures if you would like..."

I am so very sorry but I have other obligations just as soon as I get a cake shot for my cousins portfolio.

I have decided that since they slapped my friendly gesture away so readily... that I rescind my offer to work for free and no longer want to offer my help. If I should be approached at the wedding I have no idea what to say.....? I don't want to be rude... but I also do not want to "work" for these people who apparently have no appreciation for my work (and they have seen my work and know the quality I produce).

answer above in bold.......................

JDrake · March 12, 2009

Thanks! That's perfect.... I am not sure why I didnt think of that lol... so simple... maybe I was just a bit too distracted by my frustration over this silly ordeal... lol.

Art Scott · March 12, 2009

You have a really nice site ..............

JDrake · March 12, 2009

Thanks. We built it ourselves.

Snowgirl · March 13, 2009

JDrake wrote:

Thanks. We built it ourselves.

Totally agree - great site and beautiful photographs. Your 'free' client obviously does NOT appreciate your talent and expertise. Her loss.

Yep - you are busy with other things after taking the cake picture for sure. Very 'nice' way to get out of there.

People!

Scott_Quier · March 13, 2009

Yup - what Art said, "I'm so sorry, I have an appointment scheduled right after I get done here."

No need to tell them that the appointment is with something long, cold, and with a head of foam on it.:D

Moogle Pepper · March 13, 2009

Stout draft, Scott?

While it sucks to be turned down, I would take this with stride! You did offer it free, she turned it down.

urbanaries · March 13, 2009

do not take this personally.

People who get things for free (in which case, someone already beat you to it) have little or no appreciation for the value of the product or time.

Why should she if it's free!

wink

Toshido · March 13, 2009

Sorry JDrake, but have you seen what said friend with a camera does? Maybe said friend is another photographer? Sure sounds like it from what I have seen, heard and experienced about most photographers when another photographer is encroaching on what they feel is their territory.

In the end I agree with jlw. This is the persons wedding day. I very highly doubt that the bride will be thinking about you during the day.

JDrake · March 13, 2009

I agree she may likely not even give me a second thought... but I'd rather be prepared with the right thing to say in the event she does say anything to me and now I do. This is not just some random bride here either... she is the daughter of my uncle's girl friend... the same uncle who is my cousin's dad... my cousin is the one making the cake... (if my uncle married this lady... the bride would be my cousin's step sister) so it's kinda like family here but not. My cousin also is giving this girl a huge break on the cake as well.

I wish her friend that is shooting the wedding well.. and good luck. They are calling for 100% rain on saturday.

geospatial_junkie · March 13, 2009

Be nice and say you have another commitment if she happens to ask you. Don't say anything you will regret and don't leave her upset (worst thing to do). If she ends up resenting you, then it could come back and hurt you in the future.

Best thing you could do is get the cake shots done and get out of dodge. Don't make a big fancy scene of doing it.

piercingperceptions · March 13, 2009

It is her big day. If she asks then just tell her kindly... sorry you are here to shoot the cake for your cousin's portfolio then you must leave to attend to another obligation.

But at the same time as being a female and having an attitude myself sometimes, don't worry about her declining your services, in the end it was all about her, and had nothing to do with you. I can just hear her saying it and hear in her tone "it is my day, my friend, mine, mine, mine...." So let it go, all your photographs are lovely on your site. Enjoy shooting the cake, it won't be snobbish or talk back!

Matthew Saville · March 13, 2009

The original source of grief here is possibly stemming from the contract / policies of this "other" photographer they've gone with.
The bride DID say that she wished you'd let her known sooner, so that means she DOES like your work and would have gone for your offer. The PROBLEM is, this new photographer works alone.

Maybe some would contend that the bride was the one playing hardball and not the other photographer, but I've just been discussing this with some other pros insinde the school actually. And from my experience, I'd bet money it's the photographer who is calling that shot. They don't want other professionals around at "THEIR" wedding, so they've put it in their contract or at least notified the bride that other pros aren't allowed to shoot, period.

This is pretty common, but I think it is a failing business strategy, depending on the wording of the contract and especially the attitude of the photographer. You CAN shoot in harmony with other photographers, even other professionals; I've done it quite a few times... I simply have the policy that I'm the one calling the shots photographically speaking, and any other professional, uncle bob, or amateur are all subject to my polite request that they maybe not tag along for private portraits, or let me focus on getting everybody to look at MY camera during formal shots, etc. etc.

Anyways, good luck JDrake!
=Matt=

sherijohnson · March 14, 2009

I honestly think the only way that they would change their mind would be if the friend with camera doesn't show for some reason and if that were to happen, then they may be wishing to accept the offer. Anything could happen, but if you had no need for portfolio images, you could still stick to your guns.

ILockert · March 15, 2009

I had something like that happen to me at my wife's brothers wedding. I told him I had no problem doing it for free. He is family but his wife to be had a friend with a camera that wanted to do it so they let her. I still brought a few goddies mainly to take snaps of my daughter dancing and what not but I did take a few of the ceremony and got some real ugly looks from the friend with the camera which I offered her to barrow my speedlight so she could get rid of the pop up flash.. But it went well until right at the end I was doing some pictures of my family and my wife and her mom and dad and got of got asked in away to put mine away by the brides family so to keeo things on a good level I did as requested. But i did send them a few copies and well after all the picture the friend took one of my quick snaps is hanging over there fire place and I have been told several times that they made a mistake.

Edit: just looked at your site, I wish you would of offered my wedding for free good work.

JDrake · March 15, 2009

Well just an update. I went with my cousin to set up the cake. When I was the first person to walk into the room with my camera bag, the "friend" was in the room with her camera. We all kind of got a weird vibe from everyone in the room.

We were there for about 2 hours setting up the cake. The Friend had at least more than the pop up flash (which she needed bc it was all inside a building)... but her lens was the standard kit lens... you can still take good pictures with those though... so nothing against that. But apparently this friend just dabbled with photography and took some classes in high school and was by no means a professional. Both my cousin and my mom thought that the way I was turned down was a bit rude and should have been handled more considerately since I was just trying to be nice.

The bride apparently had more value for her cake than her photography too btw... She paid over $80 JUST for her topper... and was originally supposed to give her friend $75 but that got dropped down to just $50... this whole wedding was just wierd.... and in my opinion... I was better off not shooting it as these people had no value for photography and would have expected much more for the little they were willing to pay (which was next to nothing apparently).

So no hitches except for the wierd "vibes" everyone sent our way when we walked into the room to start setting up the cake. Everyone said the cake was lovely though... so that's a plus. I'll post a picture when I get them processed.

JDrake · March 15, 2009

Alright.... First up... this is the Groom's cake. He had attended Alabama State so they wanted a football cake.

And now the main attraction... the wedding cake. It had 4 tiers and each tier was different and had 3 layers in it. My cousin was really upset apparently because she had told the caterer to cut it from the bottom up so they could save the top tier for the bride and groom to have left over if they had enough for leftovers... but they started at the top and went down and now they have leftovers... that they can't "save" bc it is too big to freeze etc. The caterer also didn't want my cousin to stay around to "help" cut the cake either... oh well.... like I said... Wierd wedding! But at least the cake was pretty and tasted GREAT!

Moogle Pepper · March 15, 2009

I should stop looking at cake and food photographs. I have a tendency to get immensely hungry afterwards! That cake looks super delicious!!! :eat

heatherfeather · March 15, 2009

Wow, those cakes are beeautiful. Amazing detail in those little teensy flowers. That must have taken forever to make. Man with some of the cakes I have seen "freinds" do for weddings up here.... these ones are great! And for $50 could she even pay for her ingredients?

And you did a great job on the photography. If I were you, I'd be thankful I got out of that one.

JDrake · March 15, 2009

Well she got the cake at "cost" from my cousin. Cost = $200. Normally a cake like this would be around the $700 price range. She only paid her "friend" $50... so that just goes to show you where her priorities were! lol...

The flowers did indeed take a long time to do.. each one is hand painted to be the color it was and the flowers themselves were all hand made using a mold.

Art Scott · March 15, 2009

Very nice cake shots.....the caterer did not know to start at the bottom??!!!!?? What kind of a caterer is that.....good lord That is just unbelievable............I have had to give directions to cake cutters that were friends of the brides but never a caterer..........actually I thought everyone knew the top cake was to be cut at the 1st anniversary.......

Well the cakes looked wonderful enuff that I just had to shoot 30 units of insulin to bring my blood sugar down:D:D:D.

Very glad you did not have to use any excuses for not shooting that day.

marikris · March 15, 2009

heatherfeather wrote:

And you did a great job on the photography. If I were you, I'd be thankful I got out of that one.

Yea definitely. She turned you down and it's probably a blessing in disguise lol.

Those cakes look delicious. I wish I'd given you my address so they could send the left overs here. I don't need to put it in the fridge. Give me one day and that cake is TOAST.

oo bad pun.

zoomer · March 19, 2009

Same thing happened to me a couple months ago.
I offered to shoot a friend of my wifes good friends wedding for free in January cause I had nothing going on and I liked the venue they were having it in. She said no thanks here brother was going to shoot it for her.

I went to the wedding and took a few photos anyway since I was there, careful to stay out of her "photographers" (her brother with a camera) way.
I gave them to her on a disk (she is a good friend of my wifes) the next week.
It has been over two months and she still has not seen the photos from her brother. My guess is he botched them and if afraid to show them to her.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. The quality of your work it good so definitely her loss.

sweet caroline · March 20, 2009

Beautiful job photographing the cakes. Absolutely lovely. And what a beautiful cake- both sweet and elegant. You sister has talent, too!

Caroline

lyttleviet · March 23, 2009

I would have brought a really small memory card and said, "I don't know what happened"

Tentacion · March 23, 2009

Her friend is probably starting out in the business so she wants to help her out.

She probably also thinks that even though you may be taking the photos for FREE she will still have to pay for the prints. Taking the photos is one thing but I didn't see where you stated she could have the photos for Free?? (This could be something that weighs on her mind, since she really can't afford a photographer).

Given that "opinion" above, if you really want to to offer your services to her, you might want to let her know what "comes" with that offer.

If she rescinds again, then I'm pretty sure they will not ask you to take photos while you are present at the wedding. If they do....then it is your time to say with all DIGNITY and a little bit of "arrogance"

...."I'm Sorry, but I previously offered my services for free and since I was told they were not needed, I now have other obligations."

Peace,
Donna P.

sherrly · March 24, 2009

Oh yes and Never again
What a lesson. I have discovered that the one time I offered my services at a discount (against all wiser and greater advice) that it was a bad experience. Deep down people KNOW they get what they pay for. ohhh boy today I just shot a couple who came to Oregon from Chicago to have me photograph their engagement. I am so jazzed and you know this couple was so extremly wonderful to photograph. It rained the whole time but they roughed it.
Thanks for sharing and reminding me to stick to my guns -no matter what.
Please vote for me, I really need votes for this grant.
found out about this grant a bit too late but decided to go for it anyway. It was opened a month ago and the winner will get it by popular vote.
Will you please take a moment and vote for me? Just click this link below

http://www.nameyourdreamassignment.com/the-ideas/Simplylove/family-the-cornerstone-of-humananity/   __________________

ItalianKutie · April 2, 2009

I too had a similiar experience for my first wedding. One of my close friends from high school was telling me about her sister getting married and I said well who is doing the photography? She told me she was planning to do it and I asked if it would be ok if I came and got some practice (no charge), since I had not done one before and so she could enjoy her sisters wedding. She asked her sister and it was ok. I spent about 10 hours from start to finish at the event. Shot over a thousand pictures. Busted my butt to get great shots, did everything the bride asked. After I got home I spent numerous hours editing them nicely and put them up on my website so the family could see them. I tried numerous times to get a hold of the bride, to tell her that her pics were up, no response, so I went through my friend. Finally I found out that all she did was fuss and complain about the pictures that I worked so hard to do for her. She said I left the event and never contacted them (which is a lie).
Everyone else said they were great, matter of fact her new mother in law asked for the cd so she could make them an album for this past Christmas. I almost told her that I didn't have the pictures, but I didn't nor did I charge her for the cd. I was extremely bummed out after I heard what she said about the pictures. Oh and there was another shooter there with a little point and shoot. She called herself "the other photographer" her big butt is in a couple of my pictures....what an awful experience for my first wedding. I just can't believe all the complaining she did after I did her wedding for free... you can never please some people..

Snowgirl · April 2, 2009

Been there, done that

ItalianKutie wrote:

I too had a similiar experience for my first wedding. One of my close friends from high school was telling me about her sister getting married and I said well who is doing the photography? She told me she was planning to do it and I asked if it would be ok if I came and got some practice (no charge), since I had not done one before and so she could enjoy her sisters wedding. She asked her sister and it was ok. I spent about 10 hours from start to finish at the event. Shot over a thousand pictures. Busted my butt to get great shots, did everything the bride asked. After I got home I spent numerous hours editing them nicely and put them up on my website so the family could see them. I tried numerous times to get a hold of the bride, to tell her that her pics were up, no response, so I went through my friend. Finally I found out that all she did was fuss and complain about the pictures that I worked so hard to do for her. She said I left the event and never contacted them (which is a lie).
Everyone else said they were great, matter of fact her new mother in law asked for the cd so she could make them an album for this past Christmas. I almost told her that I didn't have the pictures, but I didn't nor did I charge her for the cd. I was extremely bummed out after I heard what she said about the pictures. Oh and there was another shooter there with a little point and shoot. She called herself "the other photographer" her big butt is in a couple of my pictures....what an awful experience for my first wedding. I just can't believe all the complaining she did after I did her wedding for free... you can never please some people..

Had the almost identical experience last summer only my "competition" was the groom's daughter who was a "professional photographer" (uh huh) and kept telling me so. I wasn't doing it for free - but practically - and so far ave never heard boo from the bride or anyone else - nor was I ever paid. How awkward is THAT going to be this summer when I see them at several events we'll all be attending? Oh boy.

Jeff_Milo · April 6, 2009

Snowgirl wrote:

I wasn't doing it for free - but practically - and so far ave never heard boo from the bride or anyone else - nor was I ever paid.

Did you have a contract? This is why you should always get paid before you actually take pictures. My contract requires, in addition to a retainer to hold the date, payment in full 14 days prior to the wedding.

Turned Down for FREE Wedding Photography!!??!??

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