Please Whip

[adpace]

"Reflection"

http://ajpace.smugmug.com/photos/163583757-M.jpg

Thanks!

[Gary Glass]

It's not bad, but your model looks a bit stiff, and your composition is a little hackneyed. Those things can be dealt with in a reshoot, but to make the most of this particular capture, you'll need to do something more than sepia tone it. (Please insert standard rant about sepia here.) If it were me, I'd do straight B&W and push the contrast way over the top. Plug the hell out of those shadows. That'll give your shot some dramatic-looking light. Something along those lines is suggested by the light you already have, and the way the model is looking into it, and the way it's washing over her. So take what's working and make that the point of the shot.

[adpace]

It's not bad, but your model looks a bit stiff, and your composition is a little hackneyed. Those things can be dealt with in a reshoot, but to make the most of this particular capture, you'll need to do something more than sepia tone it. (Please insert standard rant about sepia here.) If it were me, I'd do straight B&W and push the contrast way over the top. Plug the hell out of those shadows. That'll give your shot some dramatic-looking light. Something along those lines is suggested by the light you already have, and the way the model is looking into it, and the way it's washing over her. So take what's working and make that the point of the shot.

Thank you for the advice Gary! I'll try to get a reshoot tonight. Here's a B&W and I pushed the contrast, but maybe not as much as you would have liked?! I'm not sure. Do you think this needs to go further?
http://ajpace.smugmug.com/photos/163753836-M.jpg

Thank you again. I'll try to be thick, so if anyone else has any comments, please do, I could use some help! :thumb

[Gary Glass]

It's stronger but not it's still not a grabber. Like I said, plug the hell out of the shadows. Get the girl to be seem to be sitting in darkness, but struck by a light. See how you like it.

It's great you can get a reshoot. Get your model to relax and have fun. Alternatively, get her really nervous and uptight. That can make for some pretty dramatic portraiture!

Of course it all depends on what you're trying to accomplish. All I can say is what occurs to me, where I might try to take the project if I were starting from this baseline.

[adpace]

It's stronger but not it's still not a grabber. Like I said, plug the hell out of the shadows. Get the girl to be seem to be sitting in darkness, but struck by a light. See how you like it.

It's great you can get a reshoot. Get your model to relax and have fun. Alternatively, get her really nervous and uptight. That can make for some pretty dramatic portraiture!

Of course it all depends on what you're trying to accomplish. All I can say is what occurs to me, where I might try to take the project if I were starting from this baseline.

Thank you again. Here's the best of latest and if it's still nothing "write home about", then I'll move on and not take up your time. This one, I'm not happy with the white around the head... it was the light shining back there... something I could PS out, I'm sure. More of what you are talking about? A little less "stiff":
http://ajpace.smugmug.com/photos/163816041-M.jpg

Ick... yeah, I'm not thrilled with the crop at the front wrist either... yikes. Back to the drawing board, I suppose! Thank you again Gary for taking a look and critiqueing... it's very much appreciated.

[Gary Glass]

The problem is the pose. I was just throwing out ideas about how to make the best of what you had to work with. But in both shots your model just doesn't look natural. People (well, not the people I know) don't sit around with their hands in that position, or stare off dreamily into space.

On the other hand, if what you're going for is a posed portrait, then give the client what she wants, of course!

Thank you again Gary for taking a look and critiqueing... it's very much appreciated.

Hey, that's what we're here for! I make my own stuff better (I hope) by looking at and thinking about all the stuff that gets posted here.

[lynnma]

Hi ad!
I like what you've done with the contrast and light on the second one but I agree the model looks too "posed" I like the other more relaxed look better. Looking forward to seeing your reshoot?
Lynn :)
ps.. Yuri Pautov a member here at dgrin said once that he asks his subjects to try to think of nothing and then is shooting them whilst they are trying to think of nothing .. really works for him I guess, his work is beautiful.

[adpace]

Hi ad!
I like what you've done with the contrast and light on the second one but I agree the model looks too "posed" I like the other more relaxed look better. Looking forward to seeing your reshoot?
Lynn :)
ps.. Yuri Pautov a member here at dgrin said once that he asks his subjects to try to think of nothing and then is shooting them whilst they are trying to think of nothing .. really works for him I guess, his work is beautiful.

Thank you so much for the advice! I will confess... that is me. And I have a hard time "relaxing" for the pose... silly... right? Anyway, of course that means I can reshoot any time, LOL. :rofl I love the advice to have them think of nothing, that's great! I have a couple "portrait" photoshoots coming up and would love any more ideas.

Please be blunt, I really need the advice! Thank you both, Lynn and Gary!!!

[k2butter]

Thank you so much for the advice! I will confess... that is me. And I have a hard time "relaxing" for the pose... silly... right? Anyway, of course that means I can reshoot any time, LOL. :rofl I love the advice to have them think of nothing, that's great! I have a couple "portrait" photoshoots coming up and would love any more ideas.

Please be blunt, I really need the advice! Thank you both, Lynn and Gary!!!

Angela.. I get a ton of overly posed looking pictures for my self portraits, it is really hard to get comfortable... one of the things I do is try to pay attention to the way I sit naturally, when I am not taking a picture... I have started to force myself to pay attention to these things, and it does make a difference... sometimes though, my hands still look like I don't know what to do with them!!! You are on the right track though, and I really like this picture of you!

[JillG]

Hi,
You have some beautiful light coming through that window and you have a blank wall too ( I'm envious) :D I think you've got a nice place to work in. I agree with the straightening in the first shot and the stiffness posing problems. Lots of good ideas here to help with that. I think in the first post that the jewerly is a bit distracting. I hope you will do more and show us.

jill