Whip my B&W

[anwmn1]

It has been a while since I took my licks- Whip Away.

Pipe Springs National Monument along the Arizona Strip

http://aaronnewman.smugmug.com/photos/137752331-L.jpg

[Gary Glass]

This is a very formal composition. You're square-on to your subjects which gives the composition a feeling of flatness, blockiness. The wagon, near and far tree lines, wall, and the building all lie parallel to the viewing pane, so the composition builds up a series of flattened layers, as though I'm looking through transparencies. The horizontal lines of the limb at top, the whatmacallit that sticks out the front of the wagon, the wall, and the roof, and the vertical lines of the trees, and the almost complete lack of perspectival lines, all enhance this effect, building up an engaging composition. The middle tree neatly folds the frame into two contrasting halves, with the bright wagon cover at right, and the darker building at left. There is a also a nice opposition between the intricate and anti-linear tree limbs above, and the squared-off manmade forms below.

I love the sky and the way the trees stand out against it. You've got a lot of beautiful detail there.

Now for the little nits: the triangle lower right, is a distraction. So is the little man near the door. The ground between the wagon wheels and frame bottom might be darkened just a bit.

[anwmn1]

This is a very formal composition. You're square-on to your subjects which gives the composition a feeling of flatness, blockiness. The wagon, near and far tree lines, wall, and the building all lie parallel to the viewing pane, so the composition builds up a series of flattened layers, as though I'm looking through transparencies. The horizontal lines of the limb at top, the whatmacallit that sticks out the front of the wagon, the wall, and the roof, and the vertical lines of the trees, and the almost complete lack of perspectival lines, all enhance this effect, building up an engaging composition. The middle tree neatly folds the frame into two contrasting halves, with the bright wagon cover at right, and the darker building at left. There is a also a nice opposition between the intricate and anti-linear tree limbs above, and the squared-off manmade forms below.

I love the sky and the way the trees stand out against it. You've got a lot of beautiful detail there.

Now for the little nits: the triangle lower right, is a distraction. So is the little man near the door. The ground between the wagon wheels and frame bottom might be darkened just a bit.

Gary thank you for the in depth response even though some of it is lost on me. I agree about the lower right and the two people. When I figure out out how to clone- I'll fix those.



Anyone else out there? Come on bring it! Like it- Hate it- Ho Hum- give me something!

[gchappel]

I can't find a focal point to look at. My eyes keep being drawn to the brightest part of the picture- so I am staring at a great big white wagon cover. Too white, looks brand new, too big- can't get my eyes to move away from it. Were they ever really that white? Also too static- wagon on blocks. Unrealistic- like taking pictures in a zoo and including the bars. I notice it because there is nothing else to look at. I would put something else in the picture- kids laughing sitting along the wagon tongue or a dog looking into the wagon, etc. Something to make a story, add some interest and reality. The photo is sharp, well exposed, very well composed, but too flat for my tastes- nothing to make it hang on my wall.
Gary

[Mike02]

I think this looks very good 3 stars out of 5. Very Good.

[DavidTO]

I think this looks very good 3 stars out of 5. Very Good.


Hey, Mike, welcome to the Whipping Post!

Here in the Post we pride ourselves on our critique. We'd love to hear yours, and why you give it 3 out of 5. And why not 5. What works, what doesn't? Crack that whip!

[anwmn1]

Hey, Mike, welcome to the Whipping Post!

Here in the Post we pride ourselves on our critique. We'd love to hear yours, and why you give it 3 out of 5. And why not 5. What works, what doesn't? Crack that whip!

Well how about yours then too David? :wink

[DavidTO]

Before you click the shutter, check your corners. You want the corners to be clean, and you've got distractions in them.

The shot has a very straight on, "I went to this place and this is what I saw when I walked up to it" look. In other words, I see this subject as anyone else who happened upon it. This bores me. I want to see the subject through your unique vision. Bring me something new through your composition and exposure, something that evokes the feeling you had at that place, in that moment. What you've captures is very dry and cold.

[anwmn1]

I can't find a focal point to look at. My eyes keep being drawn to the brightest part of the picture- so I am staring at a great big white wagon cover. Too white, looks brand new, too big- can't get my eyes to move away from it. Were they ever really that white? Also too static- wagon on blocks. Unrealistic- like taking pictures in a zoo and including the bars. I notice it because there is nothing else to look at. I would put something else in the picture- kids laughing sitting along the wagon tongue or a dog looking into the wagon, etc. Something to make a story, add some interest and reality. The photo is sharp, well exposed, very well composed, but too flat for my tastes- nothing to make it hang on my wall.
Gary

Gary thanks for the lashing.

I agree that there is no dramatic focul point such as a kid which gives it a ho hum overall feeling. The primary reason I posted was because I thought the details in the wagon cover and the trees behind the wagon converted to b&w very nicely and wanted to hear what may be done to invoke some sort of emotion- cropping possibilities etc.

Yes it is on blocks- it is at a National Monument- not much I can do about that and it was clearly posted no climbing on the wagon. As far as the color it was actually more of a cream color but time of day played a huge factor in doing anything with the photos here.

Here is the color version (http://www.aaronnewman.smugmug.com/gallery/2604217#137752517).

Thanks again-

[Gary Glass]

Here is the color version (http://www.aaronnewman.smugmug.com/gallery/2604217#137752517).

FYI, when I go to that link all I see is: This is a brand new gallery with no photos.

[anwmn1]

Before you click the shutter, check your corners. You want the corners to be clean, and you've got distractions in them.

The shot has a very straight on, "I went to this place and this is what I saw when I walked up to it" look. In other words, I see this subject as anyone else who happened upon it. This bores me. I want to see the subject through your unique vision. Bring me something new through your composition and exposure, something that evokes the feeling you had at that place, in that moment. What you've captures is very dry and cold.

David thanks for the whip.

This was exactly like you stated. The time of day was horrible for shooting and therefore I didn't put a lot of effort into framing- didn't think any shots would even be decent but still wanted to have some shots of each place we visited on this trip (http://www.dgrin.com/showthread.php?t=56942).

As I stated in my reply to Gary- I do like the wagon and the trees from the conversion and was hopeing to get some possible suggestions to improve the overall image.

I appreciate the whips (and agree with them) but have yet to receive any suggestions to enhance this shot. Anyone? :dunno

[Gary Glass]

I appreciate the whips (and agree with them) but have yet to receive any suggestions to enhance this shot. Anyone? :dunno

I said:

Now for the little nits: the triangle lower right, is a distraction. So is the little man near the door. The ground between the wagon wheels and frame bottom might be darkened just a bit.

I think it's a fine shot otherwise.

[anwmn1]

FYI, when I go to that link all I see is: This is a brand new gallery with no photos.

Gary not sure why that is happening- works for me whether I am logged in or not. Here is the file path as a link.

http://www.aaronnewman.smugmug.com/gallery/2604217#137752517

Thank you for the comments about the corners, the people, and about darkening the area by the wheels. I stand corrected- :hide

[Gary Glass]

Gary not sure why that is happening- works for me whether I am logged in or not. Here is the file path as a link.

http://www.aaronnewman.smugmug.com/gallery/2604217#137752517

Thank you for the comments about the corners, the people, and about darkening the area by the wheels. I stand corrected- :hide

That link does the same thing as the other! :cry

Not really trying to correct you, just thought you missed my pearls of wisdom.

[Marc Muench]

It has been a while since I took my licks- Whip Away.

Pipe Springs National Monument along the Arizona Strip

http://aaronnewman.smugmug.com/photos/137752331-L.jpg
I agree with just about everything previously stated, that this image is presented in a boring fashion. So just for kicks, here it is with blown highlights and some masking to give it a more historic feel?

18584

[Gary Glass]

I think it depends how you address the photo. If I take it on its own terms, that is, if I look at what it is doing, then what I see is an interesting statement about the conventions of photographic composition and 3-dimensonality. But if I take it as a tourist photo or a historical photo, then there isn't much to recommend it.

[Mike02]

Hey, Mike, welcome to the Whipping Post!

Here in the Post we pride ourselves on our critique. We'd love to hear yours, and why you give it 3 out of 5. And why not 5. What works, what doesn't? Crack that whip!
Sorry about that!

I think its a 3 out of 5 because I love the coloring, the tones are even (for the most part) throughout the image, and I kept it short of a 5, because I think it may benefit from a little closer cropping on the carriage, other than that it looks fine.