Whats my problem? (large pic attached)

[Shakey]

What is wrong with this still life? Is it the composition, lighting, camera position, backdrop or combination of error? Or is it my prime suspect …me.

All critiques welcome and helpful info appreciated.
Just think, the better I get the less fecal matter I post :D .
The picture was originally color.
If the picture is to large please let me know Moderator and I will resize it.
http://members.shaw.ca/emailtotim/Brownie2.1.jpg




Here is the Shot info
Camera Model Name

Canon PowerShot A80
Shooting Mode
Manual
Photo Effect Mode
Off
Tv( Shutter Speed )
0.3
Av( Aperture Value )
5.0
Metering Mode
Evaluative
ISO Speed
50
Lens
7.8 - 23.4mm
Focal Length
7.8mm
Digital Zoom
None
Image Size
2272x1704
Image Quality
Superfine
Flash
Off
White Balance
Auto
AF Mode
Single AF

[Shay Stephens]

The picture is a tad large. To be able to see it without having to scroll sideways, try using 640 pixels wide or smaller.

But, what was your intent with the picture? What are you trying to show or illustrate with the picture?

[Shakey]

Well I see some aesthetic qualities in both cameras yet I cannot seem to capture it on film. It might be that I am taking them out of the element that contributes to the look and then by moving them it looses those qualities?
I might try to combine the subject matter with those other elements that might work.



Or it just might be possible that the creative part of my brain is atrophied due to lack of use.
Anyhow I resized it, and am starting to rethink it as well, thanks.

Tim

[knary]

The problem is compositional. See attached...

1. There are three main focal elements in the photo(red circles). The number of elements is fine, but they're all of similar scale. None gets enough priority to lead your eye. They battle each other for attention.

2. The relationship of the object(s) to the edges of the image. The tension between the objects and the edges is nearly the same (where the blue marks are) as they are all the same size. Again, this gives none any particular priority.

3. Everything is tight and compressed. There is some relief in the upper right, but not enough. (see #2)

Think about big vs. small, tight vs. wide, sharp vs. blur, etc. It's in these contrasts that you'll often find the magic.

[Shay Stephens]

Well I see some aesthetic qualities in both cameras yet I cannot seem to capture it on film. It might be that I am taking them out of the element that contributes to the look and then by moving them it looses those qualities?
I might try to combine the subject matter with those other elements that might work.



Or it just might be possible that the creative part of my brain is atrophied due to lack of use.
Anyhow I resized it, and am starting to rethink it as well, thanks.

TimThe camera that is closest to the camera is turned in such a way that the dominant detail is the side of the camera where there is not a lot of detail to see. The reflector is too bright and draws away attention too without really contributing to the image. And part of it is just processing of the image. When I see the picture, it looks like it could be an old time picture, but it is caught in a limbo between old and new. Try making it look old. Here is one interpretation:
http://forums.shaystephens.com/graphics/Brownie2.jpg

[wxwax]

Very interesting feedback. It all makes a lot of sense. :thumb

[gus]

Very interesting feedback. It all makes a lot of sense. :thumbcept black on black is s!@# to try & read