whip my first challenge entry

[bwg]

ok..my first challenge entry. for the "strong emotion" challenge. whip on.

http://bigwebguy.smugmug.com/photos/54246700-L.jpg

EXIF (http://bigwebguy.smugmug.com/photos/newexif.mg?ImageID=54246700)

[geoeremite]

I like this a lot -- the mood strikes me as right on the money. I would see whether a more "correct" white balance ruins the mood.

I was going to suggest figuring out what the distracting element in the upper left was, but as I started to write this I realized that's your wife. :doh Now that I see her, I like it that much more. Next time I might try for a bit more light to separate her hair from the background.

cheers,
Scott

[bwg]

I like this a lot -- the mood strikes me as right on the money. I would see whether a more "correct" white balance ruins the mood.

I was going to suggest figuring out what the distracting element in the upper left was, but as I started to write this I realized that's your wife. :doh Now that I see her, I like it that much more. Next time I might try for a bit more light to separate her hair from the background.

cheers,
Scott

the white balance was something i played with a bit...this is an in-between of the "as shot" and "auto" in ACR. I think the auto WB made the candles look like flashlights and the as-shot was too yellow.

i tried to get as much light on her as i could but i ended up lighting the room too much. as it is i had to clone out the windows that started to show up.

if i had to do it again, i would have used greater DOF to get her a little more in focus. thanks for the comments.

[rutt]

[David: But how does it make you feel, Rutt.]

As a challenge entry, it should make me feel the depth of your love for your wife. That would be the strong emotion. But there are some problems:

Why is she facing away? It looks a little like maybe something is amiss. Yes I know what would happen if she faced the camera without her shirt on, but that's really your problem to solve, not mine.
Would the Valentine's day card ever say "To my wife"? I think it would use her first name, or perhaps "true love". "Wife" seems cold.
Those candles and that card and those flowers and the darkness, well actually the first thing I thought of was a death in the family. (Until I read the card.) In fact, once I realized that wasn't it I (briefly) considered my own challenge shot along those lines.


[David, how was that?]

OK, that's the bad news. The good news is that I really like the composition and the idea has real potential to win this challenge. It's not a bummer like the shots I've been working on. The emotion you are trying to express is strong and mature. So, how to fix?


Card has to be more personal
Can you figure out how to show more positive body language from her. I mean more obvious positive body language. Challenge entries can't be very subtle or they go nowhere. Trust me on this.
The flowers have to look fresher and more beautiful. This might be something that can't be done except in post, even with the best flowers as a starting point.
That mixed light white balance issue? Well, I'm kind of a white balance Nazi, but in this case it doesn't bother me. It is possible to target only the midtones and shadows with a LAB move and thus get whiter paper and still have yellow flame and the sense of yellow light. This issue is lost in the noise compared to the rest.

[erich6]

[David: But how does it make you feel, Rutt.]

As a challenge entry, it should make me feel the depth of your love for your wife. That would be the strong emotion. But there are some problems:

Why is she facing away? It looks a little like maybe something is amiss. Yes I know what would happen if she faced the camera without her shirt on, but that's really your problem to solve, not mine.
Would the Valentine's day card ever say "To my wife"? I think it would use her first name, or perhaps "true love". "Wife" seems cold.
Those candles and that card and those flowers and the darkness, well actually the first thing I thought of was a death in the family. (Until I read the card.) In fact, once I realized that wasn't it I (briefly) considered my own challenge shot along those lines.
[David, how was that?]

OK, that's the bad news. The good news is that I really like the composition and the idea has real potential to win this challenge. It's not a bummer like the shots I've been working on. The emotion you are trying to express is strong and mature. So, how to fix?

Card has to be more personal
Can you figure out how to show more positive body language from her. I mean more obvious positive body language. Challenge entries can't be very subtle or they go nowhere. Trust me on this.
The flowers have to look fresher and more beautiful. This might be something that can't be done except in post, even with the best flowers as a starting point.
That mixed light white balance issue? Well, I'm kind of a white balance Nazi, but in this case it doesn't bother me. It is possible to target only the midtones and shadows with a LAB move and thus get whiter paper and still have yellow flame and the sense of yellow light. This issue is lost in the noise compared to the rest.

Good comments Rutt. However, you are assuming the emotion he's trying to convey is positive. I got a different feeling from this picture. The wife turning away, the note seemingly discarded among the candles ready to burn at any time, all point to a break in the relationship and a gap reaching out to her.

I think the shot could be improved otherwise there wouldn't be this ambiguity about what the subject emotion really is. Perhaps the flowers could be withered and the candles could be showing some use with wax dripping.

I agree that she needs to be more in focus and I would pick a tad longer focal length and a slightly higher perspective to bring her out a bit more from the background relative to the foreground elements.

Erich

[bwg]

[David: But how does it make you feel, Rutt.]

As a challenge entry, it should make me feel the depth of your love for your wife. That would be the strong emotion. But there are some problems:
Why is she facing away? It looks a little like maybe something is amiss. Yes I know what would happen if she faced the camera without her shirt on, but that's really your problem to solve, not mine.
Would the Valentine's day card ever say "To my wife"? I think it would use her first name, or perhaps "true love". "Wife" seems cold.
Those candles and that card and those flowers and the darkness, well actually the first thing I thought of was a death in the family. (Until I read the card.) In fact, once I realized that wasn't it I (briefly) considered my own challenge shot along those lines.
[David, how was that?]

OK, that's the bad news. The good news is that I really like the composition and the idea has real potential to win this challenge. It's not a bummer like the shots I've been working on. The emotion you are trying to express is strong and mature. So, how to fix?

Card has to be more personal
Can you figure out how to show more positive body language from her. I mean more obvious positive body language. Challenge entries can't be very subtle or they go nowhere. Trust me on this.
The flowers have to look fresher and more beautiful. This might be something that can't be done except in post, even with the best flowers as a starting point.
That mixed light white balance issue? Well, I'm kind of a white balance Nazi, but in this case it doesn't bother me. It is possible to target only the midtones and shadows with a LAB move and thus get whiter paper and still have yellow flame and the sense of yellow light. This issue is lost in the noise compared to the rest.

thanks for your feedback rutt.

she's facing away for the obvious reasons you gave. I had her do different poses (playing w/her hair etc.) and they all came across as too distracting. I welcome any suggestions (within reason :wxwax). My original idea was to have the flowers/candles/card with a piece of lingerie tossed onto the scene. I couldnt get the 'careless' look i was going for and it just felt like it was missing something. (plus i almost started a small fire. i kept waiting for my wife to walk in to our bedroom and see me with a camera, candles and her undies all over the floor).

i actually call her my wife quite a bit. i think that presentation may lack in ooey gooey but it's appropriate for a mature relationship. She knows who it's for. Maybe "my beautiful wife", but nothing more than that.

can you explain about the flowers? They were only a couple days old, and just starting to open up. Besides the burn mark on one of the petals, how could i go about making them look "fresher"?

[bwg]

Good comments Rutt. However, you are assuming the emotion he's trying to convey is positive. I got a different feeling from this picture. The wife turning away, the note seemingly discarded among the candles ready to burn at any time, all point to a break in the relationship and a gap reaching out to her.

Erich

cool, i hadnt thought of the possiblity of a negative mood. I think her pose has a lot weight in this feeling. hmmm...

[NikonGirl]

I just have to jump here and say that the first emotion I felt when I saw this photo was that this relationship is dying. There's a gloomy feeling to the photo, the wife turned away, and the envelope near the flames almost seems as if she tossed it aside after reading it, near the flames to burn. After all, who in their right mind would put an envelope that close to a burning flame if they didn't want it to get burned.

This photo tells a story to me, and I like it.

[rutt]

thanks for your feedback rutt.

she's facing away for the obvious reasons you gave.

The obvious solution is clothing. Perhaps she could be removing it. That and the right expression on her face would totally remove the ambiguity.

Get some light on her without lighting the rest of the background too much. You can maybe help this along in post if you can't figure out how to do it entirely with light.

i actually call her my wife quite a bit. i think that presentation may lack in gooey gooey but it's appropriate for a mature relationship. She knows who it's for. Maybe "my beautiful wife", but nothing more than that.

I wasn't really thinking of ooey goey. Whatever you actually call her, "my wife" is cold. Maybe just "Margie", or "Sarah" or whatever her best friends call her. Just the hint of a Valentine's Day card would help a lot in removing the ambiguity.

[quote=bigwebguy[can you explain about the flowers? They were only a couple days old, and just starting to open up. Besides the burn mark on one of the petals, how could i go about making them look "fresher"?[/QUOTE]

They don't look fresh, though, do they? This is a post thing. If you really want help with it, post an original on the PP forum so we don't get in trouble with you-know-who.

I'm glad I didn't misinterpret this. You could easily push it over into unambiguously negative probably without a reshoot. Make it B&W and harsher contrast. Smudge the writing on the envelope. Make the flowers really look like they are dying. Or change the writing on the envelope and turn into a death in the family scene.