memorial service (large post)

[Elaine]

Recently, our church family and community suffered a shocking and devastating loss. A husband and father of four young children was killed when the private plane he was piloting went down while he was flying to his uncle's funeral. The co-pilot passenger also died. The pilot and his family are woven into so many areas of this community. It was difficult to comprehend. And it became amazing to see people rally around this family.

The service was beautifully done; it was a time of tears and laughter, a celebration of his 39 years. In the church foyer was a large display of photos and various items that represented Scott.
1
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/558801513_ofhgo-M.jpg

There were also bracelets for people to take. One side had his name while the other said, "Final Approach to Heaven."
2
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/558804395_ecsdv-M.jpg

3
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564478023_pAr6W-M.jpg

Attenders were encouraged to sign in and/or share thoughts for the widow and family on these papers, which would be collected into a book later.
4
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/558804046_QhTAJ-L.jpg

Music was an important component of the service. The widow is an extremely talented singer and often sings at church, so the people on the stage are dear friends of hers and her late husband.
5
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564598538_j9aui-M.jpg

Scott's brothers did a slideshow presentation about him that was so touching. It was difficult to just breathe and take photos.
6
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/558801957_6MEw9-M.jpg

They shared how they went to the site of the crash, a mountain in Arizona, and placed solar lights there like a runway, in the shape of a cross. They demonstrated this for us on the stage. (Note the lights standing on the floor.)
7
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/559231660_pfvbg-M.jpg

Other people shared and sang. A moving video of his life was shown. And his parents spoke as well. They had just buried Scott's mother's brother, and then they had to come back home and face this tragedy. His mother spoke with such grace and strength, coming from her deep well of faith and hope.
8
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564509856_aYEfF-L.jpg

A reception was held after the service, so people could continue the wound binding by sharing in tears, smiles and hugs. This is the widow and her three oldest children, along with our pastor and another close friend.
9
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564469159_bwuxV-M.jpg

10
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564470616_X9qzq-L.jpg

11
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564471051_xNLaV-L.jpg

12
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564474991_P2koF-M.jpg

13
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564475987_UsuM5-L.jpg

14
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564481145_Px6mt-M.jpg

15
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564481550_wxvMM-M.jpg

16
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564486855_GRn8D-L.jpg

17
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564493399_BpaRS-M.jpg

18
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564496539_H5YqF-M.jpg

19
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564496897_rzvHN-L.jpg

20
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564501528_QMd6F-M.jpg

It was a very moving experience to take photos at a memorial service, especially one like this. I was honored to do it, but at first I didn't think I had anything of much value. When I changed the reception photos to black and white, they suddenly came to life. People and emotions became more clear and visible. The family appreciated them very much. I only wish I had been able to stay longer and capture more. The gallery ended up with 112 photos, which hardly seemed to scratch the surface of what was there.

This experience encouraged me to finish the photos from my husband's grandfather's memorial service from the spring. His family has been very appreciative of those as well, and others have said they wish they had photos from their loved one's services, as the day often becomes a blur and they don't remember much about it. It may seem strange to some, but I would encourage folks to offer this service if you can. You will be a huge blessing to the family.

[heatherfeather]

Wow! It looks like you handled it really well. I love how you stayed out of the way, and framed your subjects within the context of what was around and the people comforting. Nicely done, Elaine!

(Your conversions are STELLAR!):lust

[Scott_Quier]

:nod :agree - I like the way you did the "fly on the wall" imitation with this set. And, telling the story - gotta tell you I lost it with #11 - that is an exceptionally strong photo! :thumb

[Spydawebb]

You did a great job on these! I'm sure the family will cherish them for years to come.

[jeffreaux2]

This experience encouraged me to finish the photos from my husband's grandfather's memorial service from the spring. His family has been very appreciative of those as well, and others have said they wish they had photos from their loved one's services, as the day often becomes a blur and they don't remember much about it. It may seem strange to some, but I would encourage folks to offer this service if you can. You will be a huge blessing to the family.

You are sooo right.

I had the honor of photographing a funeral for a close friend's father. It was tough going....trying to think clearly with a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach....so I know exactly how you felt. In the time since the one I photographed, the family has thanked me EVERY time I run into them. The photographs obviously mean much to them.


...and you captured this very well....and not just technically, but also in a way that appears unobtrusive......capturing what happened without prying.

Very well done.....I appreciate you sharing these. photographs...as well as your thoughts.:thumb

[bdcolen]

Recently, our church family and community suffered a shocking and devastating loss. A husband and father of four young children was killed when the private plane he was piloting went down while he was flying to his uncle's funeral. The co-pilot passenger also died. The pilot and his family are woven into so many areas of this community. It was difficult to comprehend. And it became amazing to see people rally around this family.

The service was beautifully done; it was a time of tears and laughter, a celebration of his 39 years. In the church foyer was a large display of photos and various items that represented Scott.

It was a very moving experience to take photos at a memorial service, especially one like this. I was honored to do it, but at first I didn't think I had anything of much value. When I changed the reception photos to black and white, they suddenly came to life. People and emotions became more clear and visible. The family appreciated them very much. I only wish I had been able to stay longer and capture more. The gallery ended up with 112 photos, which hardly seemed to scratch the surface of what was there.

This experience encouraged me to finish the photos from my husband's grandfather's memorial service from the spring. His family has been very appreciative of those as well, and others have said they wish they had photos from their loved one's services, as the day often becomes a blur and they don't remember much about it. It may seem strange to some, but I would encourage folks to offer this service if you can. You will be a huge blessing to the family.

This is a story well told, Elaine. You set it up perfectly with those initial images, and took us through the group moments, and the personal moments. From a photography point of view, it would be stronger if you could have been closer to some of these things, but it's obvious that your presence wouldn't have been accepted. Given that, I'd try cropping some of the images to focus more on the subjects.

http://bdcolen.smugmug.com/photos/585549263_wxDsw-XL.jpg

http://bdcolen.smugmug.com/photos/585549239_caGSQ-L.jpg

http://bdcolen.smugmug.com/photos/585549252_mcGuA-L.jpg

http://bdcolen.smugmug.com/photos/585549269_9NkHy-L.jpg

At any rate, this is a wonderful set of images, one that the family, and their friends, will value for decades to come. We often forget that funerals are as much family and community rites of passage as weddings, one of the few times in a generation that extended families and communities come together. And as such, they are well worth documenting photographically.

Again, wonderful job under extenuating circumstances.

[Elaine]

Thank you all so very much. I'm glad the story and emotion is there. Scott...#11 hit me hard as well. As I said, making them b&w really helped, I think. Otherwise, they appeared, at first glance, to be a jumble of snapshots. (Heather, thanks for the thumbs-up on the conversions! I don't often land on a conversion that I like for a set, but this one I was really happy with.)

Speaking photographically....I was SO wishing I had a 135 f/2 L for a setting like this. I knew I would absolutely not use flash. I used a combination of the 85 1.8 (shot at f/2), 17-55 2.8 IS and the 70-200 f/4 L. I had to shoot a lot of ISO 1600 and even 3200 on my 40D. Not ideal, but otherwise I would have underexposed and had a lot of motion blur. And I wanted these to be as bright, clean and clear as possible, rather than dark and too contrasty. The b&w helps with any noise issues, I think.

I also wish I had been able to get a bit tighter in camera. Unfortunately, the shot of the mom speaking has already been cropped a little bit. And then I thought that perhaps by going a bit wider (unintentionally), maybe they would recognize folks in the periphery that I may not have otherwise caught. I was able to get a bit closer for some... (well, a little bit anyway).

I received a comment from Scott's mom that moved me greatly in which she shared that they were not even aware I was taking photos. For that, I was very glad. (The widow, Holly, did know.)

21 - I particularly wanted to include her feet in these next two...
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564482778_6Vjhk-M-1.jpg

22 - standing on a chair
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564499150_2eRER-M.jpg

23 - son on the left...cousins (?) on the right
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564490341_KERKs-M.jpg

24
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564476920_27Esk-M.jpg

25 - a group of high school guys that Scott had mentored...
http://e-heasley.smugmug.com/photos/564495191_V6RG4-M.jpg

Observing this all, it was interesting to see that the grieving family who had been living with it for two weeks at this point, were actually helping other people with their own grief, by making themselves available to be seen, hugged and spoken to. Remembering Scott and supporting his family were the reason nearly 1000 people gathered that day, yet the family supplied much support to the extended masses.

Thanks, again, for everyone's kind words!

[sweet caroline]

Well done.

Caroline

[thoth]

This is a fantastic series Elaine. I recently attended the my girlfriend's grandfather's funeral and, though they had asked me to take a few specific shots, I didn't feel comfortable photographing the entire thing. This makes me wish I had!

[Elaine]

This is a fantastic series Elaine. I recently attended the my girlfriend's grandfather's funeral and, though they had asked me to take a few specific shots, I didn't feel comfortable photographing the entire thing. This makes me wish I had!

Thanks! Yes, I understand feeling uncomfortable. I got a bit more bold as time went on, relatively speaking anyway. I am not much of a bold person, but I was armed with the blessing of Holly, Scott's wife, and so while trying to remain unnoticed, I did move around and poke my camera about, knowing it was not about me, but capturing the emotion of the day and some of the people who were there. One of Holly's good friends thanked me profusely as she pointed out that the kids would not be able to hold on to this day very clearly, especially the youngest. I hoped that the images would allow them, in the future, to see how loved their dad was.

[bdcolen]

Thank you all so very much. I'm glad the story and emotion is there. Scott...#11 hit me hard as well. As I said, making them b&w really helped, I think. Otherwise, they appeared, at first glance, to be a jumble of snapshots. (Heather, thanks for the thumbs-up on the conversions! I don't often land on a conversion that I like for a set, but this one I was really happy with.)

Speaking photographically....I was SO wishing I had a 135 f/2 L for a setting like this. I knew I would absolutely not use flash. I used a combination of the 85 1.8 (shot at f/2), 17-55 2.8 IS and the 70-200 f/4 L. I had to shoot a lot of ISO 1600 and even 3200 on my 40D. Not ideal, but otherwise I would have underexposed and had a lot of motion blur. And I wanted these to be as bright, clean and clear as possible, rather than dark and too contrasty. The b&w helps with any noise issues, I think.

I also wish I had been able to get a bit tighter in camera. Unfortunately, the shot of the mom speaking has already been cropped a little bit. And then I thought that perhaps by going a bit wider (unintentionally), maybe they would recognize folks in the periphery that I may not have otherwise caught. I was able to get a bit closer for some... (well, a little bit anyway).

I received a comment from Scott's mom that moved me greatly in which she shared that they were not even aware I was taking photos. For that, I was very glad. (The widow, Holly, did know.)


Thanks, again, for everyone's kind words!

"...she shared that they were not even aware I was taking photos." That's the highest compliment she could bestow under these circumstances. Congratulations!

[Elaine]

"...she shared that they were not even aware I was taking photos." That's the highest compliment she could bestow under these circumstances. Congratulations!

That's quite how I felt about it. Thank you.